Bhagavan Malayalam Movie
For those of you who have come in a bit late, there is a pea-brained jumble of a movie called 'Bhagavan' that has just made it to the theatres. It's the kind of film that has the potential to turn believers into non-believers within seconds of its inception. Forgive him God, for Prasanth Mambully has sinned - against the sensibility of his audience.
Bhagavan is a duller than the dullest affair that shamelessly strives to get us involved while unrelentingly infuriating and irritating us, in all possible ways. This motion picture belongs to a new breed of cinema that is least interested in the significance of what it offers, and is much more concerned with trying to jolt its viewers with superficial tricks that never leave an impact.
I can't bring to mind another movie in recent memory that is more like an ineffective ad campaign for a massive mess. Sure, it does happen sometimes, but hardly ever on this scale. The film is a speller's delight with probably every word on screen misspelled. It's unpardonable that the makers couldn't even get the word 'Trivandrum' right. But we would all simply let it go and run for our dear lives when we see bombs being 'diffused' dime a dozen.
As for the goof-ups, Bhagavan should easily qualify as the ultimate gooficon. There's the director himself dedicating the film to all those who have 'inspirated' him in the opening frame. The news roundup comes up on the TV soon and the reader disregards the headlines and goes on to tell a story straight that shows no signs of ending whatsoever. A countdown commences on a laptop that displays the numbers speeding down from five minutes, and a screen title suddenly pops out of nowhere and proclaims - three minutes to go! I could go on forever.
A few additional awards need to be handed out right now along with the world record that the film has set for having completed its shoot in seventeen hours. The most bungling screenplay award, the most inconsonant song award, the most number of funny-by-accident sequences in a film award, the most pitiable script approval by a lead actor award, the most contrived plot device award, the most utterly laughable dialogue award, the most inept story award, the best thrill-free thriller award and several more.
Unlike most other fellow souls who were equally traumatized, I stayed put and hung on till the very end of this film. There are times like these when you put your endurance to test. And come to terms with the fact that this pudgy, almost synthetic Mohanlal isn't the one we grew up admiring.
The soundtrack is atrocious, contorting into baffling creaks and squeaks and match up to the grossness of this totally disposable grade Z thriller. And the dubbing is equally dismal with coordination having gone for a dive down the sea.
With demigods as these raising the roof, I intend to gladly remain an atheist all my life. Come heaven or hell.
OTHER REVIEWS
