Bride Wars English Movie
Even before this unfunny comedy got released in India this week, a Bollywood producer had acquired the rights to remake "Bride Wars" in Hindi.
Why would any sane filmmaker want to model his vision on a film that has no content and low intelligence? The two main characters are two girls played by Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway who have grown up together and are now warring because their weddings fall on the same day and at the same venue.
Are you waiting for the plot to get hot? Well, there's nothing else. That's it.
A one-liner no, make that half-a-liner of a plot stretched into 90 minutes of unadulterated nonsense in the hope that no one would notice the lack of intelligence under the veneer of urbane glamour projected by the two actresses.
As warring brides-to-be Hudson and Hathaway fight a losing battle. Hudson is overweight and rude, while Hathaway is slim and scheming. Frankly, they deserve each other. We deserve much better.
Not one situation given to them in the script is even remotely amusing. The dips and curve in the plot are so shallow, you want to return to your Archies collection of comics to better understand how two urbane American girls function in their minds.
Nothing in Hathaway or Hudson's behaviour suggests that their characters ever grew up from the childhood where their story started.
The plot remains faithful to the characters. In one word - retarded.
The film's clogged glamour clamour is hammered into the narration like florid wall hangings fitted into a room that has neither walls nor space. The storytelling is a classic case of creating clutter in a vacuum.
"Bride Wars" is choked with humid humour. The games of one upmanship that the two ladies play would shame kindergarten girls fighting over their favourite crayons.
The decor and the visuals seem to be painted on with the flamboyant gusto of a kid at a painting exhibition where the theme is, 'Let it all hang out'.
Grossly misinformed in its concept of same-sex battles, "Bride Wars" has no significant male character. The two husbands, played by unidentified dumb-blonde types, are hapless onlookers as their ladies lunge for each others throat, at times literally.
Oh well, you wince some you lose some.
